


So Beautiful

by Wildwolf



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Comfort, Incest, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Fíli
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:52:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildwolf/pseuds/Wildwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Very short story. Fili comforts his brother after they overhear a joke at Kili's expense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Author Notes: Why yes, I am listening to Darren Hayes while typing this.  
> I love the shit out of Fili.

**So Beautiful**

 

Fili loved to watch his brother shoot. The younger dwarf was easily distracted on a normal basis, which reflected in his swordplay. He would surge after feints and display his own attacks by the shifting weight of his body. And he would become frustrated every time he was corrected or beaten, which in turn would make his habits more pronounced.

But put a bow in Kili's hands and a quiver of arrows on his back, and he became poised. He was by far the best dwarven archer in Ered Luin. He knew it, too, but he wasn't able to be proud of it, not while he lived with a bunch of dwarves.

The winter sunlight painted Kili's hair a cascade of browns. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his face but the younger dwarf didn't seem to notice for how focused his concentration was. His arms were tensed with bow and drawstring pulled. Fili breathed as Kili did: long draw inward, hold, and an exhale on the release. The arrow sailed in a slight arc and hit its target, a vaguely goblin-sized bundle of straw and cloth on the other end of the field. A victorious smile graced Kili’s lips. Fili’s breath caught for how beautiful a picture his brother made.

“Good shot, brother!” He called to him from the sidelines.

Kili turned to him and smirked. “No, not too shabby, huh?”

Fili made an unsure noise and almost maintained a stoic face before he burst out laughing. “As always.”

Kili went to retrieve his arrows, including one stuck in a tree at the perimeter of the field that Fili had jokingly bet he couldn’t hit. Of course his brother could. Arrows stored away, Kili approached him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. The older brother felt like his skin was branded through his clothes wherever Kili touched, yet like a masochist he wanted more for the pleasure it brought him. “I have my bow and you have your knives. Together we will be unstoppable.”

_Always together._ Fili had never tried to imagine a future without his brother because there was no Fili without a Kili. They were near opposites yet two halves of a greater gestalt. “We could rule the world,” he agreed lightheartedly.

“You will someday. Or at least Erebor, after we reclaim it.”

Fili ventured a bit of his inner plans. “And you’ll be right by my side.” He knew the answer and what his brother would really mean by it, but for a selfish moment he could let himself think it would mean something more.

Kili snorted. “Of course!”

There it was, that instant when he could fool himself into believing that he and his brother thought the same thing of their life together. It faded as reality reasserted itself. Kili’s stomach rumbled and he blanched, putting a hand to his gut.

Fili chuckled. “Come on, then. Let’s get some food in you.” He grabbed the quiver from his brother’s shoulder and slung it over his own. They walked back to the palace, Kili talking about whatever caught his fancy and Fili dutifully listening and making noises of agreement or dissent, whenever the situation called.

The brothers made their way to the mess hall, Kili still sweaty. The younger dwarf was grinning widely and nearly glowed with happiness. If Fili had his way, Kili would always be like this. It put a satisfied smile on his face.

“I don't see how they're related,” a voice from an upcoming room said loudly.

Fili put a hand in front of his brother to stop him from passing the doorway, instinctively knowing whom they were talking about. He tried to think of a reason to turn his brother around and go the other way but he was not fast enough.

“Looks like a damned elf, if you ask me. What do you think? Maybe the Lady Dis had herself a liaison?” Fili's fist clenched at the crude chuckles that followed. Not only was it a comment against his mother, but his brother as well.

“Wouldn't say that too loudly if I were you,” another voice cautioned. “If Oakenshield heard that, he'd kill you for slandering his sister.”

And if his uncle didn't, Fili would do it on principle.

“But the lad doesn't even have a proper beard yet, just a wisp of hair on his chin.”

“I guess even the line of Durin has to produce an ugly one once in a while.” A round of laughter followed the cruel joke.

Fili turned to his brother. Kili gave no indication of hearing other than the stiffening of his body. The older dwarf gave a swift shake of his head and, grabbing his brother's wrist, forcefully led Kili the opposite direction and towards their suite.

Upon entering the room, Fili left the quiver next to the door. Usually he was the tidier of the two but right then he couldn’t care less. He closed the door behind them, harder than he intended, and strode to catch up to his brother. Kili had been heading for his room but stopped and turned as Fili reached out to grab his arm.

“They're right. I am an ugly dwarf.” Kili laughed harshly and ran a hand over his face, lingering on his thin beard.

“You're not ugly,” Fili chided, “they're just looking at you wrong.” His brother was… more precious to him than anyone could possibly understand, far more beautiful than any jewel or working of _mithril_ could ever be because he was _Kili_. He meant more than Fili could ever admit to anyone.

“Do you... do you think anyone could ever love me?” The words were devoid of hope—Kili knew in his heart that no one would ever love someone like him. He wasn’t going to inherit the Kingdom under the Mountain. He wasn’t a great warrior, a wealthy merchant, or a distinguished smith. He had nothing to offer but himself and no one was likely to want that.

Fili's heart stumbled and the back of his neck prickled with anger at every dwarf who ever hurt his brother with their words. He could speak his feelings now but at what cost? “Someday, little brother,” he said instead, “you'll find someone who holds you higher than the sun, moon, and stars.” That wasn't necessarily true since very few dwarves actually loved or married. But he could tell Kili what he needed to hear, even if it was an untruth. “You'll fall in love with someone-” _even if it isn't me-_ “and there's no way they won't return the feelings.”

Kili’s half-smile was unconvinced and Fili resisted the urge to kiss him, hold him, to show him just how much he meant to _someone_ , to take his broken brother and gently piece him together again. He spent nearly his whole life protecting his little brother, doing anything he could to make him happy. The hollow, sure despair in his eyes made Fili feel impotent.

He clasped the back of the younger dwarf’s neck and smiled at him. Kili forced himself to meet his eyes. Fili drew his brother in and held him close. “Love you, Kili.”

Kili scoffed but didn’t pull away. “We’re not kids anymore, Fili.”

“I don’t care. Just remember that, yeah?” Of course Kili didn’t know how deep Fili’s words ran. It was for the best.

He felt Kili nod against him. “Thanks. I love you, too.”

Fili patted his brother’s back a couple times and released him. “Now come on. I think Thorin wants to talk to us about a quest.”

 


End file.
